It's been a while

Currently listening to: Endless Love - Matthew Morrison & Lea Michele


Current Location: In camp =(


Indeed it's been a while. I guess blogging regularly's not my thing. I tend to blog only when I have to vent. Or when I'm completely bored out of my mind.


Like now, for instance. 


Weekend duty's generally pretty peaceful as it is, so for that, I guess I can't complain, since others tend to have it worse. I just sit around in my office, using the internet, or sleeping, or whatever I feel like doing. Of course, it's still a weekend and being in camp stings somewhat.


Yesterday was my maternal Grandma's birthday. It was good seeing the cousins again. And that's new for me, 'cos I've never been close to that side of my family, but I guess things do change. We're all getting closer now, and we seem to have more to talk and laugh about, and I find myself being more attached to them. And that's good, I suppose.


People say I tend to think ahead. That's a good thing, right? After all, isn't that supposed to be the way, planning ahead and all? But sometimes, I think it'd actually be good not to think so much, to just be in the moment and enjoy it for what it's worth. 


I tend to do this thing Lily Aldrin calls "the front porch test", except of course, I modify it more appropriately into the local equivalent. I tend to look at people, and think, "Where are we now, and where would we be a month from now? a year? 3 years? 10? Would I be able to actually carry out pleasant conversation with this person over a meal, or even a cup of coffee?"


So I don't make many friends. Mostly because I know myself, and I know that there are many MANY people in this world I will only be able to tolerate in really small doses. I see them, and I realize that, assuming I don't already dislike them the moment I see them, it won't take long before I do. So I close myself off to people in general, less a select few. I prefer to have a few awesome friends like I do now, than a whole bunch of inane relationships with people I have to pretend to like and be patient with all the time.


Sure, I'm an oxymoron. I'm dark and twisty, but I'm hopeful and passionate. I believe in impossible odds, and even when they fail as they always do, I'll still root for the underdog. I cherish friendships, but I don't make many. 


So who am I?


Right now, I don't really know how to answer that. 


I'm complicated. I want to be simple, but that doesn't always happen, does it? 


I want to find love and companionship, so I don't feel so lonely at night sometimes. I want to have enough money, so that I can afford to do all the things I'd like to do, like practice my music and study languages, and still live comfortably. I want to play at least one instrument really well, so that I don't feel as if my entire music training has gone to waste. I want to have a nice voice too, both spoken and singing, just for the heck of it. I want to be able to read and speak French, Spanish, Japanese, and maybe Russian, German, and Finnish, just because I love languages. Latin would also be awesome. 


I want to have a fully able spine again, so that I can run, jump, and do all sorts of crazy activities that I never got to try and now will never get to ever again. I want to go to OCS, because I'm enchanted and captivated by all the rich military history and traditions, and I love that whole medieval thing of the past where knights and chivalry, and that whole "band of brothers" and "brothers-in-arms" thing, and because that's what my Dad did and I feel somehow drawn to following in his footsteps. 


I want to be a teacher at the same time, because I enjoy seeing that look of revelation light up in the eyes of others when they finally grasp a difficult concept. 


I want to move out of my house because my parents drive me crazy pretty often, and I swear to God I don't want to end up anything like my Mum, and while I don't hate them, I'd really like my own space at the same time. 


I want to know who I am, so I stop questioning my every move all the time. My inner critic is off the Richter scale, and it's driving me insane. I constantly do double-takes on my own choices, breaking them down and analyzing them and harshly critiquing them so at the end of the day all I feel is inadequate. 


Who am I?


I really don't know. 


I need a break, a time-out. And I'm glad I'm heading for a quick vacation in Malaysia with my little family of friends, followed by a long leave of absence from work during the Christmas break. Aside from having my birthday in the same period, I just love Christmas. Christmas brings out that warm feeling in me. It fills the air with that magical spirit like no other. And it's awesome! =)


I love writing in this blog, because here, I get to be extremely random in my writing. From the start of the entry to this point, I've been topic-jumping with the frequency of a grasshopper on drugs. But that's pretty much an accurate representation of what's going on in my mind as I type away. I have a pretty non-linear train of thought. Again, pros and cons there, but the time for that debate is really not now. 


I shall leave off here for this evening. I'm gonna go back to meaninglessly and aimlessly surfing the web, while waiting for Kah Shiung to bring me food. He's a great guy, one of the few people I know who can be really selfless. And I'm thankful for him, cos otherwise, NS life was really gonna have been far more excruciatingly painful. 


Oh! And I wanna start a thing! I'm gonna try and get Christmas gifts for those people in my life who've really mattered to me over the years. I'm gonna have to work out some numbers and figure out how much of a budget I'm gonna need, but that shouldn't be a big problem. Candice, if you read this, send me your address! I'll think of something for you too. =)


I've totally no idea what I'm gonna get them all, but I'll think of something. I'm sure I will. =)

Some things change. Some don't.

Dear Diary,


It's been a while. Not much has happened though. Major highlight would be last week, where I had a really long break when I took leave and we went out to celebrate Stephen's birthday. Heh, and as usual, we can make the best of plans, only to throw them all out the window in one hell of a hurry and wing it the rest of the way. But hey, all in, I'd say it all went pretty well. The rental was a really really pleasant drive, dinner was great, though I need to figure out who I owe money to, and of course, the cherry on top of the icing was that we managed to surprise him with a birthday cake he didn't see coming.


Okay, so I did. But couldn't have done it without Min. 


Anyhow, the work week came, and now it's ending again, and that's a really awesome feeling. Can't wait to go home to play Resident Evil 5. Kinda hooked on it. 


I feel changes happening. I feel different. It might just be me, or there might be something in the air, but things are just different now. It's too soon to say if it's for better or worse. At the very least, I'm pretty at peace with where I am in life right now. Sure, things could be better, but I'm pretty sure that's the same for everyone on this planet, so I suppose that's alright. 


Still, I hope Christmas would be awesome. I'm sentimental, so Christmas is just a big thing for me. So are New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, but at this point I'm at right now, I guess New Year's isn't that big a thing since I"m not the party-type.


We'll see how things pan out. I pray for the best. 


I pray that I have the strength to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 


Life's a really fickle and unpredictable thing. That's just part of the fun. Though that can drive one mad too.

The dawn of realization

You know how there comes a point in time every once in a while when out of the blue, it feels as if everything is in perfect alignment and as you take in that next breath of air, suddenly everything is vividly clear to you?


Yeah. That happened for me today.


I was window-shopping and just browsing through the various shops in Centrepoint (and I must add that the place is pretty lovely since they renovated, though that might just be me), when it hit me. That I need to just strap on a pair. That I need to get a spine. That I don't need to worry so much about being judged by others. That I should be confident in who I am. 


That I don't owe nobody in this world a damned thing, and that I should stand tall and proud at all times and believe in who I am, what I do, and the choices I make.


Perhaps that may seem completely random, but that has been bothering me of late. I strive hard all the time solely to seek the approval of others. My parents, my peers, my boss, my colleagues, and even complete strangers or acquaintances. And because I try so hard to please everyone, I take it exceptionally hard when that I fail. Which, of course, I inevitably do, because as everyone says, "there's just no pleasing everyone". 


And I must have heard that adage a million times over, and even recited that a few times myself, be it in frustration or in contemplation. And yet, here I am, trying again and again, over and over, to please everyone. 


Just like those idiot moths that constantly bang themselves against your incandescent light bulb till one or the other dies. 


I'm just like those moths, and unfortunately, invariably, the moth dies first. 


So from today, here's what I'm going to do. 


I'm going to be confident. I'm going to greet people with a smile, and be patient with people as best I can, as impossible as that is for me, and I'm going to look people in the eye when I talk to them, and I will not stammer or stutter or try so hard just to find words that they want to hear. Nor will I fumble like an idiot just because I'm forcing myself to think of something witty to say to look cool, because most of the time, that really doesn't matter. And the witty phrases are usually best when they come by themselves anyway; the forced ones usually sound awkward and constipated.


So help me God.


And on another note, as I was walking around Robinson's today, especially their home section, I realized something else. Something that I always knew was there, but never openly acknowledged for one reason or another.


I realized that deep inside, somewhere, I just know, that one day, I'm gonna make some woman a very happy woman. Our home will be cosy and warm, with nothing but the best for it, 'cos that's our home and there's no scrimping on that. And I know I'll spoil her silly, treating her like a princess and giving her whatever her heart desires, as best as I can. I'll always make time for her no matter how insane work will ever get, and when we start a family, I'm going to be there for every step of that precious process. I may not always leave my work in the office, but I vow to always be there to tuck my kids in to bed every night, maybe spend some time talking to them and finding out about their day while I'm at it. 


It's not going to be all smooth and easy, and I have no doubt that that road is strewn with pot holes and misleading signs, but by God I'm going to do anything and everything I can to make that work. 


Again, so help me God.


I've not met that woman yet. The ever-elusive Ms Right. But I know someday I'll meet her. And for now, I'm content to just wait. After all, I've still got time.


And the good things in life are always worth waiting for.

Against Medical Advice

I did something terrible today. 


I relived the old glory days of a previous life.


This fine evening, I ran 2km. And then after that proceeded to execute a few flying and spinning kicks. And a few round-offs and handstands. And swung on the horizontal bar. Quite a bit.


In short, I did all those things I used to do back when I was still practicing gymnastics. And I'm pretty damned sure that my doctors would've more than a few harsh words to say about that, if they knew. I'm not sure if my slipped disc liked all that very much either. 


But dammit, it felt good to be back out there. To get my body working again. I hate feeling like a paraplegic. No offense to those out there, of course, but I really hate it. It makes me feel weak and useless. And that's very very discouraging. It affects my self-esteem.


And it also gets me fat. Dammit.


So yeah, I'm gonna do what I can in the meantime. And maybe I'll have to seek medical treatment again, but one thing at a time. 


On a different note, I wish she'd reply. Then again, I should be used to it by now. She seems to have this penchant for leaving me hanging for a while before replying me. If that's intentional so that she doesn't sound desperate, then that's really kind of a cliche. 


Of course, more likely, she's probably just hesitant or just isn't interested. Heck, probably both.


But I won't give up. There's gotta be something I'm missing. There has to be something, an angle, that I'm not seeing. I'm really gonna have to try and broach this a different way. I just really really don't know how.


God, if you can hear me, I'm in need of your wisdom right now. =/


Amen.

Underrated. Unappreciated.

That would pretty much describe the life of NSFs. Maximum work, minimum pay. And you know who gets it worst?


Non-combatants.


Such as myself. And my guys.


For most of us, it's really really unfair. At least half of my guys have the potential to be commanders. They can think logically and are able to make judgement calls to get to accomplish the objective, which is more than I can say for most of the fools holding command appointments that I've met. 


And even if my guys don't make the cut, at least they'd have been able to say that they did their best. But no, life is never fair. 


All of us are here because of one simple reason: We're all medically downgraded. Each of us has some condition or other that prevents us from being fit for combat duties. Yet all day and night, here we are in our administative cave of hell making decisions and getting critical work done. Without us, I dare say that this battalion would not be able to function. 


You know what's the worst thing?


I'm not exaggerating.


It's true. Although training would be able to go on, who's gonna deal with the paper trail that that causes?


So when the time comes for a pay review from our beloved government, what do they do? 


They decide to increase the pay of the commanders. As well as combat pay. 


Neither of which apply to my team. 


Fuck this. For the work we do, not only do we have to constantly "kowtow" to other lesser idiots, who attempt to walk all over us just because they have rank, we're not going to get recognized either? Most of us hold appointments and job scopes that should be done by commanders. But no. Someone somewhere along the line decided that, nah, "Corporal" is all the rank needed by someone to do this job.


Fuck you. And fuck your fucking system. And all you idiots who walk all over enlistees just because you outrank us. 


I'm proud to say that I work with some of the finest in this field. Again, I dare say that. Because I know it to be true. I have been to other units, and met others in my line of work, and few of them even know their stuff well enough to quote it without having to refer to something. But my team? We're not perfect, but we know our jobs inside out. Yes, we make the occasional consult with our guidelines to ensure that everything is in order, but that being done, at least we know how to apply them into context. Which is way more than I can say for those others.


While being a clerk comes associated with the stigma of malingering, that is not true for my team. My close friend here is downgraded for a blood disorder. One guy is epileptic, another is deaf in one ear, and 2 of them have back injuries. 


The list goes on for everyone on my team.


It's different if you're a combat enlistee. Them, they have my sympathy, but hey, they were given a shot; a fair chance to prove themselves. And if they didn't make it because they just don't give a crap, or even if it's because they just don't have what it takes, then that's too bad. They at least get to tell themselves every night that they had the chance.


And none of them will ever hold appointments that will require them to make decisions or judgement calls on a daily basis. Their job is simple: They will do exactly as they are told, no more and no less. Which differs from us, for ours is a thinking job. And though some of us hold more straightforward appointments, the rest of us hold appointments that could literally make a difference to a person's life. Everything we say or do could influence the outcome of the final decision made. And we have to go to sleep every night hoping we did the right thing.


But those combatant enlistees? They don't. And to reward them for being such great robots, they get awarded a "hazard pay" every month.


We get nothing, thank you very much.


So yes. Life is unfair, and we were all dealt the short straw. But NS is only for 2 years, and we're gonna move on past this. We have each other for support, and we'll do our jobs to the best that we know how. Because that's the only way we know. We may never experience what it's like to be out there in a combat environment, or even be given the chance to be commanders and be looked up to, but by God we'll hold our heads up high nonetheless for we know the value of our contribution.


Even if no one else sees it.


Even if no one else appreciates it.


So to all commanders out there, the next time you're about to abuse an enlistee, especially one in a service vocation,


Think again. Think very hard. And remember that they are not enlistees because they are unable to think. Nor because they lack the courage and mental strength of a combatant. But that they might actually outsmart you. 


And then you'll be very very sorry. 

Walls

I'm in the office at this unearthly hour, and I'm still doing work. It's not that I'm hardworking, it's that I took a nap earlier in the evening, so now I gotta wrap up what work I've gotta do. But of course, I'm taking a slight break right now.


A bunch of things going on right now.


Firstly, I might have to post out to another unit. My posting is to take effect this coming Monday, and right now, my unit is still fighting the posting. Talk about cutting it close. Either way, tomorrow I'll have my answer. And if I've to go, there are a lot of things I'll have to do, loose ends to tie up and such. I'll have to send out my goodbye emails, my handing over emails, and I'll have to hand over knowledge & data of certain skeletons in our metaphorical closet to other senior clerks.


Still working my magic there, let's see how things go.


But of course, that's not what I'm really thinking about.


A beautiful lady I know recently said something. She said,


"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others away. But to see who cares enough to tear those walls down."


I think it's rather true. We've probably all done it at one point of our lives or another. Call it a challenge, or a test of endurance, to see if we deserve what's there at the finish line.


And right now, I'm wondering if she's doing just that. Point blank? I'm crazy about her, and every time I see her smile, no matter how frustrated I am with anything, I still end up smiling anyway, and for that moment in time, everything just doesn't matter.


Of course, she doesn't know that, and the way things are going now, I wonder if she'd ever know. Pity. If only she knew how many times she's gotten me through the day and also saved some poor soul from getting torn apart by me. Believe you me, fools grow in abundance in this organisation here. It takes a lot of self-control and patience just to carry through most of the telephone conversations here. It's harder talking in person some times because it takes way more self-control not to snap at some guy with a horrendously blank expression.


Again, I'm digressing. Pardon my ramble. Not the best day at work.


Someday, I'd like to tell her. How important she is to me, and how I wish that I could see that smile for the rest of my life. Damn, imagine waking up to a smile like that. Hard to imagine how the rest of that day could really go that far downhill after that. And yeah, I'd love to live for little moments like that.


But that's not gonna happen anytime soon.


I'm pretty sure that I sound pretty crazy right now. Completely irrational. And you're probably right. But that's the strangest thing about love. Even when our chances are small, we'd still give it a shot without hesitation. And we'd all think that somehow, we're different, that we'd beat the odds.


I mean, after all, we're in love.


But anyhow.


One day at a time.


It's like what one of my lecturers once taught us:


"Just keep telling yourself it'll happen tomorrow. One day you'll wake up and realize that it's true."

Stalker

Feel just like one. 


Pretty much sums that up. And I suppose that's very unhealthy. 


Just to set things straight, before some overzealous chump calls the cops, that's figure of speech. I'm not really stalking anyone. 


I wish she knows how I feel about her. I wish I could just let out all these things in my head. But that's not how the world works. Nope, not at all. 


It's not right like that. Why can't we say what we mean? Why is that not allowed? Sure, boundaries and all, and perhaps scaring people off, those might be two good reasons. But why be scared off? Wouldn't you rather know for real how someone feels about you?


Wouldn't you rather an honest, sincere answer right from the heart, as opposed to an answer that has been filtered through three layers of censorship? Where the final product is something far from the truth?


It takes a lot of courage to be able to tell someone to her face, that "I'm crazy about you, and there's nothing more I'd like than to be the one who makes you laugh everyday; to be your confidante, to hear about your day and be there for you whenever you're feeling down.". It's not easy to say that. It's harder that we can't say that just because things are still casual and to do something like that would be the equivalent of jumping out of a plane without a parachute. 


Sure, maybe it's 50-50. Maybe the plane is still on the ground, so jumping off it obviously isn't gonna kill you. But more likely than not, that metaphorical plane is 50'000 feet in the air. And jumping off it would kill you in one big hurry. You'll have lots of time to see it coming, but when it happens, you won't know a thing. 


But I digress. Apologies. 


So.. How do you turn a 'no' into a 'yes'?


At one point of all our lives or another, there will come a time, when we meet somebody so special, where there's just something about them that makes us know, right the moment you see them, that they're "The One". It could be anything; their smile, their eyes, the way they stood, even the way they said your name. It could be anything. 


I suppose this is one of those moments. Unfounded as it may be, sometimes if you don't take the risk, you don't reap the gain either. 


When you spend all your life searching for something, and you finally find it, don't ever let it go. 


I had the chance with someone like that once. But then, I was young, ignorant, and naive. I just plain didn't know any better. But now that I know a little better, I have to try.


I just have to.


It beats not trying, and then spending the rest of my life in regret, thinking, and fervently wishing, that I did. Because, sadly, life has no "Save Game" feature. Once the moment is gone, that's it. No "Undo" buttons. 


So as with every good story, the moral of this one would be, 


No day but today.

The Game

The Game has rules. There will be those who abide by them, those who break them, and those who bend them to their will. And in The Game, there will always be winners and losers. And like every game, there are always prizes for the winners.


But unlike every other game, this game has no clear conditions for victory. Everybody may play the same game, but no two people will determine victory in the same way.


Everybody has the same dream. In this case, the dream is simple: Win The Game.


This game, as we all know it, is simply called "Life". And like it or not, we're all players in this humongous game.


Sometimes, in this game, I feel like one of those chess players who play at several tables at the same time. Because here, we wage war on several fronts. On one front, we have "Career". On another path, we have "Family". And we also have "Love", "Finances", "Friends", and so on.


Sometimes, things just aren't in your control. And we have to deal with it and roll with the punches, and pick ourselves up whenever we fall, because the only sure way to lose is if we choose to give up.


And for me, giving up is not an option.


Right now, for most of my various mini-wars, things are pretty much laid out already, and now there isn't much I can do but to just go through the motions. 


I'm gonna try something. It's not gonna be the smartest way to play the game.. but I have to try it anyway. The game may ask me to just hang around and do nothing, but that's just strange to me. I can't figure out how doing nothing will get something done. Perhaps that's my problem. But either way, I have to try. 


I just have to.


And sometimes, the only way to know that something's really a mistake, is to just make the mistake, then look back later and then say, "whoops, yeah, that was a mistake", because otherwise, you would never know if the mistake really was a mistake. 


And sometimes, that would be the real mistake. 


So I just have to try.


------------------------------------------------


In other news, thanks Candice for actually reading this blog. I think you're half my viewership. =)


I'm pretty sure I'm the other half. 

How do you know you're in love?

That was the question a close friend of mine posed to me recently. Good question. How do we ever know we're in love? And that it's truly love, and not a crush, not just that stage of infatuation, but indeed, its love?


I struggled to answer her, but y'know, at the end of the day, the only answer would be,


"You just know it."


When every fibre of your being screams to you that she's "The One", and that you'd like nothing more than to be there for her every time she needs a shoulder to cry on. To be the one who makes her laugh just so you can see her smile, 'cos it's that smile you'd want to wake up to every morning, that same smile that makes you feel like as long as she's always there, you can take on the world, head-on, and no matter what the world may throw at you, everything's gonna be alright. Just because she's there.


When she inspires you to wanna do insane, silly, foolish, but hopelessly romantic gestures for her, and you know you'd do it anyway, even if you're gonna look like a moron if it flops, but that's okay. Because it's for her. And I said "inspries" you, not "motivates" you. So something that you'd do only because it's her, and that you wouldn't do for anyone else, and also not something you'd find in a textbook.


When you wanna say things that are so mushy that even the most hopeless of romantics would cringe at, but in your head it sounds perfectly sensible and acceptable because, well, you're in love. When at the end of each day, you just wanna hear about her day and tell her all about yours, and you just wanna listen. When you want for her to never be unhappy ever again. Ever. And you'll give absolutely anything at all to make sure of it. And even after consciously knowing it's futility and how impossible that is, you still wanna do it anyway.


I'm sure I can think of more. But in a nutshell,


I'd say that's love.

Self-discovery

Recently, I'm consciously aware that I'm learning more and more about myself every single day. Mostly, at least I'm repairing my self-esteem, which's pretty much been shot to hell since high school.


But along this journey, I've discovered quite a few things about myself; some that I like, others that I don't. For example, I know I can be pretty uptight at times. And have a pretty short-temper. Things like that.


And then there are the good points. I'd go to extraordinary lengths to protect those whom I care for, I'm sincere, and while I can be rather forward at least I'm honest. I'm hoping there's more, but I'm not that good at naming my good points. Of course, referencing above-mentioned self-esteem issues, I'm working on it.


I've also learnt stuff from my past relationships. Some things that I resolve to never repeat in my future relationships. Also to be more patient and understanding (I can really suck at the understanding part, not just at relationships).


So that's this very early beginning in my journey of life. I wonder what more I'll discover, or how I might change. I know I'm a very different person now from, even say, 2 or 3 years ago. While people do change, I hope I'll only change for the better.

The Ramble of Thoughts

Hello everyone, hello blog. It's been, what, 6 months? Yeah, I think so, pretty much.

Lots have happened since. The most obvious and major event would be my entering NS, of course. To cut a long story short, I was medically downgraded during the first week of BMT, and I'm now in a service vocation in the Western part of this wonderful country serving in a battalion whose building looks like it could come down any moment.

I know. It's awesome.

I was really disappointed and not being able to complete BMT. Contrary to popular belief, being a clerk isn't all that attractive and lucrative. Then again, I suppose that all boils down to perspective. Me, I'd rather spend these two years in a combat vocation, 'cos at least that means I'd get to stay fit and I'd get to run around and do things that I'd never get to do again in other jobs in my life.

I'm not one of those overly enthusiastic people who seem to dash head-first into everything when they're in NS; I just wanna do my time and get out, just like many others. I accept that there's no running away from serving, and since I have to serve anyway, it might as well be in a way that'll benefit me.

For instance, what's the point in being a clerk now? I'm pretty damned sure that regardless what career I choose to pursue in future, I'm definitely gonna have some form of administrative hell or another. The whole world pretty much revolves around administration, after all. So why do it now, in NS, where the pay is about one quarter of what anyone out in the commercial world would receive doing the same thing? The flip side to it, of course, would be that other than this period where we all have to serve, where else in the world would anyone be paid to just run around and play with guns? I know that's a rather flippant way of saying it, but you get my point. I just want the experience of it, not to do it for the rest of my life either.

Also, thanks to my father, who once was an officer in the armed forces, I've been setting my eye on becoming an officer myself ever since I was just a li'l kid. Thanks to my injury, that's obviously a dream I'll never get to experience now either. When the doctor downgraded me, I pretty much lost it. Let's just say that was a difficult period for me, and that I'm still not really over it.

Through this period, I've had my ups and my downs. And through the downs, I've come to appreciate even more those who have been around for me through everything. Of course, Amily gets it the worst, cos she's the one who's always around to listen to me pour out my mind. And the rest of my closest friends aren't far behind of course; James, Stephen, Deborah, Peiyan.. Thanks guys. Even though I know you're not likely to ever read this. Heh.

Sigh. Anyway. This whole post came about because on this fine beautiful Sunday, I'm stuck in my camp on duty. Therefore, I shall leave now as the time has come for me to fulfil some other part of my duty.

Till next time then, whenever that may be.

Calling the police

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window. As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things.

I phoned the police, and they told me that no one was in the area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.

I said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back.

"Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot them!"

I replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

The Science Experiment

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair on January 26.

In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since it can:

1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 150 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

One hundred forty-three said yes
Six were undecided
Only one knew that the chemical was...



Water!

The title of his prize winning project was,

"How Gullible Are We?"

He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment.

The conclusion is obvious.

---------------------------------------------------------

Have a good laugh people! =)